Sheryl Sandberg’s “Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders”. Sheryl Sandberg gives a phenomenal TED talk about the glaring lack of women in leadership roles in the workplace. As Sandberg sheds light on some differences between men and women in the office, she gives aspiring female business leaders a few actionable tips to take their career to the next level.

Brene Brown’s “The Power of Vulnerability”. Brené Brown’s extremely personal talk explores the uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability, and how those who dare to be vulnerable are generally happier and feel more deserving of love.

Jennifer Aaker: The Seven Deadly Sins of Storytelling

From the Magazine Fast Company

The Rules of Social Media According to you (these were my favorite from the page)

Be Interesting. Be Kind. Be Consistent – @Adriannagiuls

#TheRules of Social Media: It’s about Influence, not control. – @nickrunner

Interesting is tougher than it sounds – @Frazerrice

Before you tweet/post/share, imagine saying it in person. Anyone who shouts “Be My Friend!” ends up with no friends. – @johannascott

Don’t forget to tweet or people will forget you. – @hazel_pugh

Make your info short and sweet for mazinmum interest and sharing potential. – @GCHesMan

Don’t say anything online you wouldn’t want to have published on the front page of The Times! – @CW814

“He gave the I have a dream speech, not the I have a plan speech.”

“People don’t buy what you do they buy why you do it.”

“The goal is not to do business with everybody who needs what you have, the goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe.”

Hello Beloved Kink Leaders!

It’s been so quiet on here lately!  I’ve missed your voices, feedback, and reflections!  I really hope to see more of you engaging the posts, and I challenge you to start sharing your own resources and ideas as we move forward.  We have so much to offer each other!

In that spirit, I’ve recently been moved to take a pretty big step in my local Kink community, and filled with excitement and fear, am beginning to meditate, pray to the goddess, as well as think and write about my goals and intentions.

I’ve attended local munches and noticed that while there are small patches of youngsters and newbies at the munches, there is no real safe space for the next generation of kinksters to share, explore, and educate ourselves about how to safely, ethically, and responsibly engage in the Kink community.  As many of you have noted and observed, there is a palpable tension between the older and younger generations so I am WELL aware that I am about to step into a pretty icky energetically-charged territory.

I want to start a TNG (the next generation) group here in Palm Beach county.  There are some things I’d like to do before I start, such as 1) talk to my husband, and figure out what I can give in terms of time and commitment, and how this will work for my family. I am going to reach out and set up meetings with leaders in the local community–from both munches, past TNG leaders, owners of the local kink-friendly fetish store etc., to get a sense of the community, its resources, and any suggestions.  It is EXTREMELY important to me that this new group be a part of the current community–not segregated from it, and one of the themes I want to directly address with the community is the way in which the older and younger generations MUST work and learn from one another.  I plan to invite “elder” members from the community to present and teach at our meetings, and I also want to work to empower younger members to step up in the community and create groups and events that reflect their interests, needs, and passions.

I plan on taking at least a month to do all this pre-work, reflection, and praying, and then, post a call for interest on FL.  I want to have an initial meeting to see who is interested and actively plan and brainstorm as a group what we want the group to be, and find out the needs and interests of the attendees.  I’m really not sure quite where to go from there–is it customary to have people in formal leadership roles in these groups, or is it more informal?  As the group founder, I by no means want to be a dictator, but have had negative experiences where everyone is trying to run the show, or (in less formal situations) where no one takes ownership/pride/responsibility and the whole thing dissolves/falls to pieces.

So I am putting all this out here in request for your love, support, words of wisdom, and any experience you may have with this sort of thing!  I am feeling a lot of excitement and terror right now!

Thank you for reading and sharing your responses!

Goddess Inanna

Hi fellow Kink Leaders!

As many of you know, Kink often involves exploration into the darker, less acceptable sides of human nature.  People seek out the Kink and BDSM communities for different reasons, but there is certainly a place for the politically incorrect in the Kink world that is not made available in the vanilla community.

1.  How do you feel about the active exploration of poltically incorrect topics within kink (e.g. race, rape, imbalances of gendered power, feces, and other forms of extreme play)?

Please check out this great blog post on the topic:

http://www.lessonsfromawhore.com/category/bdsm/

2.  What is your approach to more intense scenes and desires within the Kink Community?

a. As a participant

b. As an observer

c. As a leader (Dungeon staff, group facilitator, etc)

3.  How do you navigate the transition between acceptable scene exploration/play and your leadership role?  How do you make sure that you don’t carry over any of the role play into meetings and that your community members don’t either (For example, power exchange play–totally fine and appropriate in a pre-negotiated scene/relationship but NOT okay at community meetings.  Being a dom/me does not grant you instant power over others in community meetings, etc)

4.  How do you transition between you role in the Kink community, or within a scene to your vanilla life (e.g. the feminist who likes to be spanked.  How can she be both without feeling whiplash?)

There are two contributing that first come to mind when it comes to building confidence and ‘taking a hold of the reins’ of leadership

Go back to establishing what your strengths are. Setting the boundaries you need and setting yourself up for success. It’s better to under promise and over deliver, even to yourself! Find ways that you know you can be helpful and do that for awhile, even if you’re not an official leader. Be a self starter and you will naturally grow into the leader you want to be.

You can also improve on your weaknesses by being willing to be less of a leader and more of a volunteer. Learn from others. No one knows everything so be open to stepping out of the leader position with the intention of learning a new skill or improving yourself.

If you work better solo rather than in a group you also have some great options to build confidence. If you’re feeling a bit shy speak to your local ‘official’ leader to see if there’s a project that you could work on by yourself.

These suggestions only work when you follow through, finish the task or work with a group successfully!